I ROCK

Srinath Vardhineni Propels Challengers to fabulous win in Computer Point T20 Cup

Srinath Vardhineni

Skipper Led from the front with an unbeaten 105 runs.

Challengers Cricket Club Won by 91 runs.

• Challengers Cricket Club           186 Runs for 4 wickets in 20 Overs
• Indorwa  Cricket Club               95 All Out  in 17.4 Overs

Man of match: Srinath Vardhineni 105 runs not out.

Challengers Cricket Club continued their dominance in the ongoing Computer Point T20 Cup by convincingly beating their arch rivals Indorwa CC last Sunday in Kicukiro Oval.

Challengers Captain Srinath Vardhineni led from the front as he scored his maiden century in his career in Rwanda, he is the firstplayer to score hundredruns in Rwandan T20 Cricketand he hit 10 sixers, seven fours and took just 51 balls to reach his milestone.

Challengers won the toss and batted first, Srinath Vardhineni and Praveen Kumar Menon put on 70 runs partnership for first wicket and took their total to a challenging 186 Runs.

Indorwa CC batsman made their run chase difficult by losing wickets in quick succession, the Challengers bowlers bowled tight spell and did not allow the Indorwa batsman to score freely.

Challengers Rakesh Nair and Sudheer Reddy took three wickets each and wrapped up the Indorwa CC innings for 95 runs.

Meanwhile, in another group Match between Dugout CC and Impala Titans CC, Dugout CC got a walkover as Impala Titans could not put up a Team as most of their players were out of the Country.

Women’s Computer Point T20

White Clouds CC won their inaugural match against Queens of Victory CC.                          

Mary Maina of WCCC showed her all-round skills by scoring the first half century of the tournament in Women’s Computer Point T20and also took two wickets.

White Clouds Cricket Club Won by 34 runs.

• WCCC       140 Runs for 2 Wickets in 20 Overs
• QVCC        106 Runs for 7 Wickets in 20 Overs

Woman of match: Mary Maina 59 runs & 2 wickets

Match Summary:

WCCC won the toss and opted to bat

Batting WCCC: Mary Maina 59 runs not out and Iriho Veronique 30 runs 

Bowling QVCC: Dusabimana Oliver 1/21 

Batting QVCC: Diane Bimenyimana 29 runs.

Bowling WCCC: Mary Maina 2/14 and VestineByukusenge 2/22

A promise in bed, should be a debt

When you are getting whatever you want and seem to have totally no complaint about it, you tend to get carried away and keep making empty promises.

In this context, we are talking about those guys who won’t shut up or just can’t stick to granting when in the throes of consummation. They will want to promise the whole world to the lady who is apparently giving them ‘a-goodu-one’. “

Sweetie, I will buy you a Benz, Oh maybe I will buy for you an airplane, do you want a house in Kololo?That is in Uganda.,Nyarutaramaaa,Kibagabagaaaa in Rwanda Muthaiga Kareni view in Nairobi” they keep saying in between ‘their’ happenings.

Now, a lady should also be equally engrossed in the affair, also throwing around praise and superlatives to her man because that is what good sex is supposed to be. But see other than a woman telling a man how he is such a stud, there are no material promises from her.

 However, we leave in times where our wants supersede our financial muscle. We always need that extra buck to get us something new and coveted. A promise is a debt and so if someone promises you something, you glue your thoughts to that until the said promise is fulfilled. 

So, it seems really unfair that a lady should listen to all those promises and have none at all ever fulfilled. It even becomes worse when once or twice every week, depending on how virile a couple’s sex life is; the lady has to hear her dude swear that he is buying her a jet or a Mercedes Benz.

Now, I do not know about you, but if someone keeps insisting that they are going to buy me a plane, they had better do it or just shut the hell up! They say women are the best at multi-tasking and you know how they say that empty debes make the loudest of noise.

I imagine, he could be promising Kololo-Karani View”that’s in Nairobi  and Muyenga and the person who he is telling all this crap too can’t wait for him to get done so she can go and watch Raphaella or some other obscure South American soap.

So perhaps then, the next time a guy starts promising cars and aeroplanes in the middle of sex, the lady should just roll aside when he starts talking about M-classes. She should ask for the car keys before they continue; no more woloks!

She says...
 

For many generations, men have criticised the complexity of women. True, we are a complicated, but there are things we understand that men don’t expect us to. We understand that prior to getting laid; men will make a lot of false promises. It makes sense because we know that unlike guys who just need the right place, women look for a reason to have sex.

It does not shock us when you promise a trip to the Bahamas yet owning a passport is still prestigious in your family. But, there are just some things that make no nonsense. Why on earth would you make false promises during sex? It is just like a little boy who continues to cry after he has been given the toy he badly wanted.

Well, if you insist on making the promises better be ready to fulfill them. We will definitely remind you of the BMW you promised (Even when we know that you cannot afford it). And if the promise is a high class wedding ceremony, we shall still hold you up to it. To hell with the excuses, it was in the moment, it was ecstasy. We are yet to find a man who has surrendered his ATM pin code because of ecstasy.

So, if you can’t fulfill the promises, find something else to say. Think of something to in your mother tongue that you can shout without scaring a woman away. Or in the words of American artist Rihanna, Just shut up and drive

Trust naughty students to nickname every teacher

A Form One student strolled into the staffroom and innocently requested to see ‘‘Mr Volcanic’. Teachers burst out in uncontrollable laughter and looked in the direction of the Geography teacher who stared back without comprehension.

Upon realising that he was the one being referred to as Mr Volcanic, he chuckled and rose to hear out his student.

In schools with observant and naughty youths, if anything moves, they will give it a nickname. Scores of pupils routinely nickname their teachers Thatcher, Alice Lakwena, Madonna, Mr Bean, James Bond, Eddie Murphy and Jackie Chan. Locally, Ms Morgan, drawn from the Tahidi High TV drama, is becoming a common teachers’nickname, especially for tough, curvaceous female teachers.

Okwonkos

A common source of teachers’ nicknames is the words that they repeat too often. One chap I know has distinguished himself as What Is It?’ A Biology teacher goes by the nicknameBromothymol Blue — a common laboratory dye. Yet another is Spirogyra for habitually over-teaching those water plants.

The repetition of such phrases as ‘you, moreover, in addition, as a consequence, really and so that’ have also earned many teachers unshakeable nicknames.

Chamurenga is a History teacher who particularly refers to the ‘Chamurenga war’ every few months. And another History teacher is baptised Antoinette from referring to this French queen too often.

Many Literature in English and Fasihi ya Kiswahili teachers make do with the names of characters that they over-emphasise in set books. Thus, many staffrooms have jaded Okonkwos (from Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart); Wamalas (from John Ruganda’s The Burdens); Ndugu Jeros (from Wole Soyinka’s Trials and Tribulations of Brother Jero); Amezidis (from SA Mohammed’s Ame Zidi) and Romeos (Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet), and so on.

Striking physical features earn many teachers their nicknames, too. Thus, any heavily built and strict male teacher easily becomes any of the World Wrestling Entertainment’s athletes such as The Undertaker and the Big Show. A rotund and short lady teacher in one school is called Saucer, while another one with “footballers’ legs” is Michelin, sheng for sporty legs!

And talking of deputy head teachers brings me to the unsavoury nicknames, especially reserved for them. In one school, the deputy principal goes by the fearsome nickname Lucifer from his no nonsense style! Another one is roundly acclaimed as The Beast, and yet another one is called Curious, for his keenness in getting to the bottom of all issues.

Other names associated with deputy head teachers due to their real and imagined harshness include Milosevic, Bokassa, Hitler and Stalin — all heads of states whose cruelty is well documented.

A teacher in one school gives the impression of being on the edge of existence by wearing one weather-beaten jacket day in day out. Consequently, his students have nicknamed him Survivor. In yet another school, Mr Hunger yawns rather too early in the day in one school, giving the impression of being permanently famished.

But the cake goes to the nickname given to a male History teacher, who has the habit of surreptitiously scratching his nuts. The lads call him ‘Testicles’ — in their mother tongue!

18 Fun Facts About Alcohol!

 Alcohol consumption has been an age old pastime for most people across the world, but did you know these crazy facts about your favorite drink?

1. Red wine is considered as a powerful antioxidant for the body.
2. Most vegetable and almost all fruits contain a small amount of alcohol in them.
3. The world's oldest known recipe is for beer.
4. Beer was probably a staple before bread.
5. Many high school cafeterias in Europe serve alcohol to students who choose to drink.
6. Texas state law prohibits taking more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
7. The human body produces its own supply of alcohol naturally, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.
8. Distilled spirits such as brandy, gin, rum, tequila, etc. contain no carbohydrates, no fats and no cholesterol of any kind.
9. The first recruiting station of the U.S. Marines was a bar.
10. Beer started selling in bottles starting 1850 and in cans starting 1935.
11. In the 1600's thermometer used to be filled with brandy instead of mercury.
12. There is a cloud of alcohol in the outer space which is enough to make four trillion-trillion drinks.
13. The term "Dipsomania" refers to abnormal cravings for alcohol.
14. In ancient Egypt, "bread and beer" was a common greeting.
15. It was largely the monasteries that maintained the knowledge and skills during the middle Ages necessary to produce quality alcohol beverages.
16. Early Egyptian writings urged mothers to send their children to school with plenty of bread and beer for their lunch.
17. The early Church declared that alcohol was an inherently good gift of God to be used and enjoyed. While individuals might choose not to drink, to despise alcohol was heresy.
18. Jesus drank alcohol (Luke 7:33-35) and approved of its moderate consumption (Matthew 15:11)(Compare Psalms 104:15)

Rush for slots in Rugby Sevens team

Competition for places in the Kenya National Sevens team has heated up as the team prepares to take part in the second and third leg of the International Rugby Board Sevens Circuit.

According to captain Andrew Amonde intensity of training has gone a notch higher as the team looks to make an impact in the Dubai and South Africa legs due in the last week of November and first week of December respectively.

The team performed exceptionally well by reaching the semi-final of the Gold Coast Sevens in Australia and they will have to match that performance if they are to reach the same heights again.

“Training has become a lot harder with players like Ashioya (Sydney) back from injury,” said Amonde.

Major boost

“We are still waiting to know of the status of Humphrey Kayange, who will be a major boost to the squad,” he added.

“I think with some of the older players coming back to the setup we are bound to have more experience in the next two legs which will be critical in our advancement.”

Hunger for success

Speaking to FeverPitch, Amonde hinted that he is looking forward to the return of Mwamba flyhalf Lavin Asego into the national setup.

“Our hunger for success has not, in the least, been relented and in fact, we are now more hungry than ever (for success),” he added.

The Kenya Commercial Bank player insisted that their good performance in Australia will count for nothing if they cannot stay consistent and keep winning.

The Kenya Rugby Union had set a target of 100 points for the team but the boys have not set a ceiling to their ambitions and are instead looking to win every game that is put in their way.

There has been a massive influx of young players since former coach Benjamin Ayimba was fired but new coach Mike Friday will have to find a nice blend between young blood and experienced heads if he is to make an impact in the circuit.

TF?! Nigerian Woman Dies during Sex but Wakes up In Coffin

 Can someone say madness!! Because this is madness. So I was surfing the net when I bumped into weird news about how a woman in Nigeria was thought to have passed away after doing the 'did' BUT woke up screaming 'You want to kill me' when they placed her in a coffin!!

Yes. Apparently, this kind of thing happens. She is reported to be a prostitute and the story explains that after they found her cold and seemingly lifeless body in a hotel, they called the police who then put her in this steel coffin only to have her wake up and scream from inside it!

Lol! They'll probably make a weird Nollywood movie about this or wait, maybe there already is.

Eye witnesses were quoted to have said;

"People were running away in different directions. It was a scary incident because we were all convinced that she had died because she was just cold. Miracles surely do happen."

Miracles? This sounds like a scene from the world's worst nightmare. In fact, queue Whoopi Goldberg's shocked face.