A promise in bed, should be a debt

When you are getting whatever you want and seem to have totally no complaint about it, you tend to get carried away and keep making empty promises.

In this context, we are talking about those guys who won’t shut up or just can’t stick to granting when in the throes of consummation. They will want to promise the whole world to the lady who is apparently giving them ‘a-goodu-one’. “

Sweetie, I will buy you a Benz, Oh maybe I will buy for you an airplane, do you want a house in Kololo?That is in Uganda.,Nyarutaramaaa,Kibagabagaaaa in Rwanda Muthaiga Kareni view in Nairobi” they keep saying in between ‘their’ happenings.

Now, a lady should also be equally engrossed in the affair, also throwing around praise and superlatives to her man because that is what good sex is supposed to be. But see other than a woman telling a man how he is such a stud, there are no material promises from her.

 However, we leave in times where our wants supersede our financial muscle. We always need that extra buck to get us something new and coveted. A promise is a debt and so if someone promises you something, you glue your thoughts to that until the said promise is fulfilled. 

So, it seems really unfair that a lady should listen to all those promises and have none at all ever fulfilled. It even becomes worse when once or twice every week, depending on how virile a couple’s sex life is; the lady has to hear her dude swear that he is buying her a jet or a Mercedes Benz.

Now, I do not know about you, but if someone keeps insisting that they are going to buy me a plane, they had better do it or just shut the hell up! They say women are the best at multi-tasking and you know how they say that empty debes make the loudest of noise.

I imagine, he could be promising Kololo-Karani View”that’s in Nairobi  and Muyenga and the person who he is telling all this crap too can’t wait for him to get done so she can go and watch Raphaella or some other obscure South American soap.

So perhaps then, the next time a guy starts promising cars and aeroplanes in the middle of sex, the lady should just roll aside when he starts talking about M-classes. She should ask for the car keys before they continue; no more woloks!

She says...
 

For many generations, men have criticised the complexity of women. True, we are a complicated, but there are things we understand that men don’t expect us to. We understand that prior to getting laid; men will make a lot of false promises. It makes sense because we know that unlike guys who just need the right place, women look for a reason to have sex.

It does not shock us when you promise a trip to the Bahamas yet owning a passport is still prestigious in your family. But, there are just some things that make no nonsense. Why on earth would you make false promises during sex? It is just like a little boy who continues to cry after he has been given the toy he badly wanted.

Well, if you insist on making the promises better be ready to fulfill them. We will definitely remind you of the BMW you promised (Even when we know that you cannot afford it). And if the promise is a high class wedding ceremony, we shall still hold you up to it. To hell with the excuses, it was in the moment, it was ecstasy. We are yet to find a man who has surrendered his ATM pin code because of ecstasy.

So, if you can’t fulfill the promises, find something else to say. Think of something to in your mother tongue that you can shout without scaring a woman away. Or in the words of American artist Rihanna, Just shut up and drive

TENNIS

MURRAY'S MINT ... Andy lifts Sony Open

Miami twice

ANDY MURRAY moved up to No 2 in the world as he roared to victory in the Sony Open.

The Brit came back from a set down to dramatically beat Spain’s David Ferrer 2-6 6-4 7-6 in Miami.

But Murray, 25, was still not pleased with himself despite leapfrogging Roger Federer in the world rankings.

After a see-saw match containing 15 breaks of serve, he admitted: “I served poorly. If I’d served better I could have made it easier and that’s something I need to do better in the clay-court season.

“This week I did a lot of things well but I need to serve better.

“It’s easier to return on clay so it’s even more important to serve well.

“It was a strange match. I just managed to fight well in the end in incredibly difficult conditions.

“A couple of years ago I probably would have lost that sort of match. I was up a break three or four times in the third set and kept letting him back in. There was a lot riding on the match and I was glad to get through in the end.”

Murray looked to be starting well but threw away two break points in the opening game.

Ferrer was more decisive when he had the chance to take the initiative and promptly went 2-0 ahead.

Only a wonderful winner from Murray stopped Ferrer taking the third game to love but it was a rare moment of joy for the Scot as he went 4-0 down. At 5-0 behind Murray finally got on the scoreboard by winning the next two games, only to lose the first set on a double fault.

But he got his act together in the second set and claimed the first two games, including his first break of the match.

Roared on by a supportive crowd, Ferrer clawed back a break to take it to 4-4, only for Murray to break again before serving out for the set.

The third set was captivating. Incredibly, the first six games went against the serve but the sequence ended when Ferrer held. Murray duly followed suit to make it 4-4 with a classy backhand pass.

The US Open champion looked to have made the decisive move when he broke once again to leave himself 5-4 up and serving for the match.

But Ferrer hit back, putting together a run of four points to break Murray and level it up.

After holding for the second time, Ferrer reached match point on the Murray serve and would have taken the win had a dramatic challenge gone his way.

Instead, Murray’s shot was just in at the baseline and he forced the tie-break.

With Ferrer wilting, Murray summoned one last push and claimed the first four points on his way to a 7-1 tie-break win.

That brought him his second Miami Masters title and left only Novak Djokovic ahead of him in the world rankings.